Hair. The strands of protein that magically grow out of our scalps. The reason for frantic mornings and throwing endless amounts of money on more than likely useless products. The reason we spend all of our Saturday’s in a chair at our favorite salon. The tool we use to measure how much beauty an individual has. The shield we hide behind that we call “identity”. What if one day that “shield” was gone and could no longer protect you? What would be your identity? What makes you you? What is at the core of your essence?
All my life I was the girl that linked my hair to my identity. With each stage of my existence, my hair reflected the person I was trying to portray to the rest of the world. From relaxers to braids, my scalp has seen it all. When I returned to my natural texture, I was beyond proud of my mane. I saw my kinks as my crown, my antennas that kept me connected to the universe. My hair allowed me to stand out from the crowd. Unapologetically defying society and becoming the source of conversation.
However, as I delved deeper into womanhood and began my journey of spiritual growth, I started doing some internal cleaning. The more I removed the clutter sequestered deep inside my being, the more the person I truly am began to radiate. I noticed a glow surrounding me every time I viewed myself in the mirror. My confidence strengthened. I was learning how to stand in my truth. Although I loved my kinky coils, I felt like they were in a sense keeping me from fully focusing on my internal development. I was conscious that my hair was different from the mainstream standard, but unconsciously I was worrying about how to style my society defying hair to be somewhat acceptable. Why couldn’t I just let my hair be? Why are there so many rules and regulations on how ones hair should look and feel like? I was tired of the amount of hair one has or the kind of texture equating to a certain level of beauty. Who the hell made these rules?
One day I started imagining myself completely bald. At first the thought was scary because I wasn’t sure if I had the right shape to pull off such a daring look. Gradually the idea grew on me and one day I said screw it and decided to free myself. I knew God didn’t make any mistakes on me and I can be beautiful without a head full of hair. I felt freedom with each snip, clip and buzz. I didn’t care if anyone approved of my look. Finally my external appearance truly reflected my inner being.
Despite what society wants us to believe, I feel more feminine than ever before. Gone are the days of worrying if my locs will be up to par for the rest of world. No more crazy mornings fussing with blow dryers and pics. And even better, no more shields. I’ve rid myself of all the unnecessary standards that distract me from actually seeing the real me. What is left is a beautiful, strong, bold and confident woman who is letting her character define her and kicking society’s standards in the balls one snip at a time.